Ache
by stainedblossoms
Summary: -SasuNaru- Ache: verb, noun 1. To suffer a continous, dull pain.  2. To long, to yearn painfully.  3. A painful sorrow.  After bringing Sasuke back to Konoha, Naruto must not only live with the boy from his past, but be handcuffed to him. Literally.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note:

I started this story two years ago, and the first chapter isn't very good...

But it gets much better, I promise.

Please give this story a chance! And please review.

Thank you very much. :)

* * *

I know you're here.

Hiding.

Traceless.

Somewhere.

My heartbeat is quick, that familiar adrenaline pumping through my veins as I wait.

Quietly.

Patiently.

I'm not stupid, Sasuke.

Not anymore at least.

I know that you're near.

And I know that you're waiting.

So we'll wait together.

And I'll show you what real pain is.

I can imagine it all so clearly.

I'll beat sense into your thick-skulled head.

And I'll show you that I'm different.

I'm stronger.

I'm better then you, Sasuke.

And I'm bringing you home.

Today.

And you'll be sorry for everything you've done, for everyone you've hurt...

For everyone you've let down.

Do you know what you were to this village?

You were the villagers' everything.

Our pride and our joy, our beauty, our strength.

Our last Uchiha.

You were an idol.

Everybody wanted to be you.

Everyone loved you.

And I...

I wanted to be you.

I loved you.

And God, how I hated you.

You were so perfect, Sasuke.

So much better than me.

It was infuriating, painful.

But now...

Now things are different.

And I'll show you how stupid you really are.

And I'll bring you back home.

I'll fucking die before I give up on this.

And even if you're a bastard and even if you caused so much pain...

I won't let you go.

Not again.

Not ever again, damn you.

I feel my hands curl into fists at my sides, that familiar anger burning at my heart.

You were my worst enemy, Sasuke.

My rival.

But then...

In a strange and completely sad way...

You were my best friend.

My inspiration.

My everything.

And without you...

I am totally and utterly...

Incomplete.

So I simply wait.

Your presence so clear and achingly familiar to my senses...

I know you'll come out soon.

And I'll show you how much you hurt all of the people who cared so much about you, how much you hurt all of the people I love...

And how much you hurt me.

-TO BE CONTINUED-


	2. Chapter 2

-Naruto-

It's so quiet.

And I know you're there.

I can feel it in my soul, the gentle beat of your heart thrumming along with mine, each whisper of a breath passing those lips.

I cannot hear it.

But I can feel it.

And I know you're watching me.

I know you're waiting.

Waiting for that perfect time to strike...

A snake hiding under the cloak of night.

You've always been a snake, Sasuke.

Clever and treacherous and deadly and so coldly beautiful.

And suddenly, in a breath of an instant, you're here.

Your arm is cast over my shoulders, almost like the shadow of an embrace, your body right beside mine.

And I can feel my heartbeat quicken.

I just stare straight ahead, knowing without even casting a glance towards you that it is the very same Uchiha from my past, plucked from the cobwebs of my memories.

And oh so real, oh so there, oh so near.

I hear you chuckle, my eyes drifting closed as I imagine that familiar smirk I know is adorning your lips at this very moment.

"You didn't scream. Disappointing."

That voice.

God, that voice.

So different and so cold and so soft, so taunting in my ear.

And yet I hear the whisper of that mocking voice from my memories layered beneath this deeper, stranger, lovelier sound.

"You're fast."

My voice is surprisingly calm.

It is a simple statement.

A strange first words exchanged after years of absence.

But it is true.

And perhaps the truth is all that is needed.

You scoff but I know you're still smiling, so confident, so arrogant, so infuriatingly sure of yourself.

"Naruto,"

I remain silent, so painfully aware of your presence so near.

"I'm not stupid."

And I hear the sound of steel against leather as you draw your blade, thrusting it hard into the Naruto at your side.

He gasps, pain flashing in iced blue eyes for only an instant before his body fades to dust.

I curse your observance, shifting from my position hidden among the branches of an old oak, watching you as you chuckle quietly, placing you sword back in its place.

"You think you're clever. But really, you're no better than before."

And I feel my breath catch, feeling something so bitterly cold against my neck, knowing all too well that soft chuckle sounding from behind me.

I glance back at you, eyes narrowed, hating that look of satisfaction on those treacherously beautiful features.

You're smirking and I pause, surprised.

Your eyes...

They're terrifying.

So deep, black and empty and so...

Lifeless.

You tilt your head to the side, shifting slightly on the branch just beside mine.

"Stupid little fox. You should know better. Did you really think I'd fall for that? Or are you just holding out on me, Naruto?"

You flick the handle of your blade ever so slightly, watching me wince as that cold steel cuts a tiny red line across the side of my neck.

"Are you afraid that you'll injure me? No need to worry about that, dobe."

You smirk.

"That's impossible."

And I hate you.

I feel that deep anger rising like a flame in my soul, burning at my heart, heating my eyes so that a flash of crimson flickers across my irises.

But no.

I can't call on that stupid fox.

Not now.

Not ever again.

I'm better then you without him...

And I'll show you that.

I'll show you that all I need is my own power.

I don't need to call on some other force not my own, some other gift, some other curse.

I'm not like you, Sasuke.

And I don't like having you standing over me.

I hit that icy blade away from my neck with the back of my hand, watching as a second image of myself appears behind you, looping his arms through yours so that you cannot move them.

It's my turn to hurt you.

I get to my feet, throwing a hit at that delicate white cheek, this unforgiving hatred burning in my eyes.

Your head snaps to the side, a very slight pink raising to color where my fist had met your skin and I pause as I see a smirk still at your lips.

"You hit hard, Naruto. But do you really think that this is enough?"

And before my eyes can register what has happened, my clone, once again, disappears into smoke.

You tilt your head to the side, watching me.

"What's wrong with you? If you really wanted to kill me..."

You start to come closer and I glare, backing away.

You continue, matching my every step as I back towards the end of the branch.

"If you really had that intent to kill..."

I feel the edge of the branch on my heel, cursing your very existence as you continue to come closer.

"If you had that true and bitter hatred..."

You finally stop, your body so strangely close to mine.

I throw another punch towards your face, eyes widening as you catch my fist in your palm, pulling me closer so that my chest pushes against yours.

I feel your lips hovering against my ear, your breath so warm and sweet against my skin.

"You would have done something more. You would have used a kunai. You would have cut my heart, Naruto."

I can't move.

I can only stare straight forward, shock temporarily immobilizing my muscles.

You smirk.

"You're afraid to kill me. But the thing is,"

You hit me, throwing your fist into my stomach so that I fall backwards off the branch, still so shaken, surprised.

And I'm falling from the cradle of those treacherously high branches, screaming at myself to do something, save myself, do anything, but I'm still too paralyzed by those eyes and that terrifying closeness of our bodies, and I'm still falling.

And you're still smirking.

"_I'm_ not afraid to kill _you_."

-TO BE CONTINUED-


	3. Chapter 3

-Sasuke-

In an instant I am under you, just in time to feel you land heavily in my arms.

Those glassy blue eyes are wide, terrified as they gaze into mine.

And after a moment, I know.

Damn you.

I throw a punch at your cheek, feeling your body fade into a cloud of dust at my feet.

I'm tired of these games.

You're still a child, Naruto.

Running around and hiding...

But I know.

I know it was originally you on that tree branch.

It was you, paralyzed at our closeness.

Terrified of my touch.

Too afraid, too attached, to actually try to kill me.

And perhaps I can use that against you.

And I think I might.

And then I see you, a flash of blonde hair leaping from the thick canopy of treetops to fall straight into me.

You throw a punch at my cheek, watching as my head is snapped to the side on the all too hard ground.

You idiot.

I glare, catching your fist once again and flipping you harshly onto your back.

You narrow your eyes and lift your head suddenly, crushing your lips hard into mine.

Softness.

And I can only blink, genuinely and truly surprised.

I feel the shock coursing through me, so distracted by this warmth against my lips.

It feels so perfect and strange and so...

Not quite right.

As I feel my eyelids falling half-lidded, letting your fingers intertwine in my hair as you pull me closer, moving those lips harshly against mine...

I realize how stupid I am.

And before I can even push you off, I feel a fist slam into my cheek, your body bursting into dust as I'm pulled to my feet and hit again.

And I curse, glaring into those taunting, angry, hating, blue eyes.

Humiliation colors my cheeks a faint pink and I catch your fists as you keep throwing punches, so tireless, so strong, and I feel my accuracy begin to slip.

You caught me off guard, in a moment of complete shock, complete warmth, complete stupidity...

And it's infuriating.

I finally catch a firm grip on your wrist, swinging you to the side so that you slam into the side of a tree with a sickening crack.

I push you against the wood, trapping your hands in mine, my fingers wrapped threateningly around your throat.

Your skin is warm.

And you're breathing hard, watching me with those wild blue eyes.

Like a trapped animal.

I tighten my grasp on your neck, eyes narrowed.

"Fucking idiot. Don't ever try to pull shit like that again."

You scoff, glaring fearlessly into my eyes

You've never been afraid of me, have you?

"Bastard. You're the one that didn't bother fighting the clone off."

I run a finger down the side of your neck, watching as a small shiver runs down your spine.

It's interesting how you react the way you do...

Fascinating me far more than it should.

"Hmph. I was just surprised. I wasn't quite expecting a dobe latching onto my face like that. Besides, you were the one who decided to sick your little clone on my lips."

And I smirk, seeing the tiniest whisper of a blush skirt across those whiskered cheeks.

"It was just a distraction. It worked, didn't it?"

I chuckle then, tilting my head as I watch you, so helpless, captured against the trunk of a tree.

Vulnerable.

"Apparently not. Have you not registered your current position, dobe? I think I win."

And the look of complete anger in your eyes isn't unexpected and yet...

It's such a strong hatred there.

A little...

Surprising.

And for whatever reason...

I feel my heart begin to ache.

I shouldn't care.

I don't care.

Why would I care if you hated me or not?

Of course you do.

And I hate you too.

... But I still feel it.

That strange pain building in my soul as I look into those furious eyes, those beautiful, hating eyes...

And before I can even realize that my grip on you is loosening you shake out of my grasp, tackling me to the ground.

"Bastard!"

You throw punches at my cheeks, snapping my head harshly back and forth in the dirt.

And I'm not fighting back.

For whatever reason, I can't.

I just lay there, letting you hit me with that furious force, something inside of me holding me back.

I can stop you.

I can get out of this.

But for whatever reason...

My heart doesn't want me to.

I can't hurt you right now...

And I don't know why.

I'm feeling dizzy, the vision of your face above mine blurred and unsteady.

But then I feel it.

Something cold and wet against my skin as your fists finally slow, something gentle and soothing against my bruised flesh...

And I realize that you're crying.

Hitting my chest weakly as silent sobs shake your slender frame, tears streaming like rivers down your cheeks.

"Jerk... Why do you make me do this... Why do you make me hurt you like this... Why are you such a bastard... Sasuke..."

You hang your head, fists thumping uselessly at my chest.

"I don't want to anymore. And I'm bringing you home, Sasuke. Even if I have to break every bone in your body..."

I blink slowly, head aching.

Everything hurts.

And you hit me too hard.

And you hit the wrong spot on my head.

And I'm suddenly so tired.

I gaze hazily at the image of your fading form, eyelids falling heavily closed as the darkness begins to veil my blurred eyes.

"Dobe..."

And I sleep, feeling your tears rolling down my cheeks like drops of ice.

-TO BE CONTINUED-


	4. Chapter 4

-Sasuke-

I hear birds.

They trill softly, their gentle song brushing my cheek lovingly.

It has been a while since I have listened to the birds sing.

"Oi, I think he's waking up."

The voice is unfamiliar.

Why is it that they insist on speaking over the songbirds?

"Finally."

"Er, Naruto, you should let him rest some more..."

"Fuck that."

I feel the mattress shift, raising my eyelids half-lidded to gaze sleepily up into oceans of blue.

I watch your eyes soften slightly as they look into mine.

"Bastard."

"'Morning,"

I pause as I let my eyelids fall closed again, running a hand absently through my hair.

"Naruto."

"Don't talk like that, like things are normal. You bastard..."

"Well, what do you want me to say?"

I watch you with one eye, words falling sharp from my lips.

"I love you, Naruto, thank you so much for bringing me back. I'm sorry for leaving and I'll never do it again? Want me to say that instead?"

My words bite.

Blue eyes are wide.

A few of the medic ninjas exchange uncomfortable glances, stepping back, as if trying to escape the line of fire.

Pain.

I inhale sharply, the breath cutting across my chest harshly.

"Naruto-kun!"

They move towards you but you just glare back, eyes glinting like steel in the soft morning light.

I feel a bruise forming on my cheekbone.

My skin aches.

I stare wide-eyed at the wall, leaving my head positioned where it had snapped to the side.

That dangerous blue gaze turns back to me.

I almost wince.

"Teme! Who the hell do you think you are, you bastard!"

"Naruto-kun..."

"Would you stay out of this!"

The medic ninja falters, eyes falling to the floor.

"You have no idea, no idea what you did to us!"

You fist the collar of my shirt, pulling me up so that I'm closer to you.

I let my face hang to the side, not wanting to look into those hating eyes again.

"Naruto-kun!"

"You don't know how it feels, you bastard! When your best friend tries to kill you, when he leaves you when you thought you had something! Something to hold on to, a support... You've never had that happen to you!"

"Shut up, Naruto. There are worse things that can happen."

You glare, your next words sounding in a growl.

"Like what, Sasuke?"

"You damn well know what, Naruto. Your parents weren't-"

"Don't you dare bring family into this!"

Blue eyes are wild with rage, glinting like sharpened steel in the soft sunlight.

I don't care.

I'm too upset, too angry, too frustrated, to care.

"You never knew your parents! You never had them! They weren't there from the beginning, you didn't get the time to love them! They weren't taken away from you when you knew them!"

Your eyes soften, but it isn't sympathy that I see there.

Only sadness.

"Better to have loved and lost than never to  
have loved before..."

I stare, wordless, and you sigh, getting to your feet.

"Make sure he's in stable condition, do a thorough examination of all wounds, and pay special attention to the head. Make sure there is no possible damage to the mind."

"Hai. But Naruto-kun, where is Sakura? Shouldn't she be here as well? She _is_ one of the best..."

You speak softly as you walk out the doorway.

"It hurts too much for us to see him. She wouldn't be able to function properly."

"H-Hai."

I watch you leave, trying to capture your image in my mind.

Somehow, I can never recreate that smile...

-TO BE CONTINUED-


	5. Chapter 5

-Naruto-

I can't let go.

Every time I close my eyes I see your face, perfect and beautiful and so clear in my memory...

I can't let it go.

I can't let you go.

Why is this so hard?

Why has it always been so hard?

I throw my pillow across the room, watching as it collapses against the wall.

The silence feels fragile.

_"Listen, Naruto..."_

Tsunade is watching me, brown eyes blurred with a shallow veil of tears.

"I know this is hard for you..."

"Then why are you doing this? Isn't there anyone else?"

My voice rings out sharper then I meant it to.

She shakes her head.

"Naruto, I'm sorry... But there isn't anyone else that can control him like you can. There's no one else that knows him like you do. Naruto... You're the only one..."

"But how do you think it will make me _feel? I won't be able to handle it. I can't have him stay in my apartment. I just can't."_

"Naruto..."

"I can't!"

A tear breaks free from underneath her lashes.

I watch as it trails down her cheek.

Slowly.

Perfectly.

A liquid diamond.

"I know... I know it will hurt, Naruto... But you're strong. I know you can handle it. Please... For the village..."

And I know I'm on the edge.

But I can't cry.

I can't cry.

I can't...

"Tsunade... I'm scared..."

She bites her quivering bottom lip, a few more tears streaking down her cheeks.

"I'm so sorry, Naruto"

And I lean into her open arms, finally letting the sobs shake through my body.

"Naruto, when he first woke up in the hospital..."

Her voice is soft, a soothing whisper in my ear as she holds me close to her chest.

"The first thing he asked for was you..."

And even now, the last night I have before you come, I can't stop crying.

Sasuke: boy from my memory, boy from my dreams and my hopes and my hurting heart...

Why are you haunting me still?

-TO BE CONTINUED-


	6. Chapter 6

-Naruto-

"No way. This is fucking ridiculous. I will not allow you to do this!"

"Naruto..."

"No!"

"Hn."

"Shut the fuck up, Uchiha!"

"Naruto-kun!"

"Stay out of this!"

"Naruto. Calm down. Remember what I said yesterday."

I look up at her.

And I'm angry.

Furious.

I feel the heat rising in my chest and it's blinding me, blurring my vision so that the world seems distorted.

Under water.

And I'm so angry.

So completely pissed off.

"I don't care. I won't do this."

"You have to, Naruto. Please. Just _please_. It will only be for a short time. Come on, Naruto. Do this for me?"

"Tsunade! This is asking too much. I won't. I can't."

"Yes, you can. Please, Naruto. Please."

You say nothing.

You aren't even looking at us.

Just staring off at the wall, always so distant, so cold.

Why is there always a barrier between us?

"Naruto? Please?"

"I..."

I turn back to her, shifting my gaze away from your silent form.

"But..."

She watches me.

I don't want her to cry again.

"Fine. Fine. I'll do it, okay?"

She smiles.

I see the tears sparkle like diamonds from where they had collected beneath her lashes.

You don't look up.

And, with a click, she locks us together.

"Forgive me for this, Naruto."

I stare at the thin chain binding us together, feeling the cold metal against my wrist.

You don't say anything.

You don't do anything.

And I don't even hear what Tsunade is saying to me because I'm too busy staring.

Why won't you even look at me, you bastard?

I don't know how many minutes pass.

I don't know how many words are spoken.

And before I can even snap out of it Tsunade and the small group of ANBU are gone.

And it's just me and you.

Chained together.

Alone.

The tension kills me.

And the pain between us tears at my wounded heart.

"Sasuke..."

Finally.

Finally you look up at me.

Those obsidian eyes are empty.

Dead.

Peering silently at me with the quiet hollowness of a ghost.

"I hate you..."

Then, suddenly, you tug at the chain and I'm pulled against you.

Breathless.

Your lips hover near my ear.

"Fuck. You."

You breath the words hotly against my skin and I can't help but tremble.

"Don't touch me, teme."

And I push you away, glaring as the chain pulls at my wrist.

"Bastard."

"Dobe."

I feel tears pricking behind my eyes.

Why do I feel like crying?

Is it the way you're so close to me?

Is it the way you're looking at me?

Or is it just because you're here?

I glare, looking away.

I won't cry for you.

I won't let you win.

"Fuck you, Sasuke."

-TO BE CONTINUED-


	7. Chapter 7

-Sasuke-

You're lying as far away from me as possible.

I watch you silently.

You aren't asleep.

I can tell.

Did you really think I wouldn't?

I tug roughly at the chain linking us together.

Finally, you sit up.

"Listen here, you fucking bastard. I am not gonna deal with your shit, okay? You just go to sleep and leave me the fuck alone."

Those blue eyes glare fearlessly into mine.

I admire them quietly.

You blink, clearing your throat.

"W-What is it, teme? Got anything to say?"

"No, not really."

My voice is calm, steady.

I can tell it makes you angry.

"Good. Fuck you, Uchiha."

"Fuck _you_, Uzumaki."

And suddenly you're straddling my hips, pulling me up by the collar of my shirt to face you.

"What the hell is your problem? You are such a fucking bastard! I never did anything to you. Nothing. How could you treat me like crap when you're the one that left!"

I spit into your face.

You blink, grip loosening on my shirt.

I shove you off, ignoring the tug of the chain on my wrist as you're pushed farther away.

"Fuck you, Naruto. You don't know anything."

You jump on me, fist smashing hard against my cheek.

My neck snaps to the side.

My head throbs.

"Bastard!"

I glare up into those angry eyes, snapping my wrist towards you so that the chain circles around your neck.

I tug, forcing your face down closer to mine.

"Play fair, Uchiha."

You're growling, blue eyes glittering.

"This is fair enough, Uzumaki."

And I throw a punch to your cheek, pulled by the tug of the chain to follow as you fall backwards.

We land in a heap on the floor, positioned awkwardly so that I'm straddling your lower back.

"G-Get off me, you bastard! I'll kill you!"

"Shut the fuck up, dobe. Just hold on."

And I shift off of your body, rubbing my bruised cheek with a grimace.

"Damn, you hit hard."

"Oh, like you were any gentler."

"Fuck you."

"Fuck _you_."

"You are such an idiot..."

"Well, you're a bastard!"

"Ah, quiet down! Damn, your voice is so annoying. I already have a headache now..."

"I don't give a fuck."

I roll my eyes.

Always so stubborn.

Some things never change.

"Well, I don't know about you, but I'm going to bed now."

I get to my feet, feeling that annoying tug on my wrist.

"Now get up, you're too far away."

"What do you mean I'm too far away?"

I look down at you, brow raised.

"The chain. You're too far away and it's putting pressure on my wrist."

You look away, pulling yourself quickly to your feet.

"Oh."

"What else could I have meant..."

You throw yourself heavily into the bed, pulling me against the wooden edge as you do so.

"Ah! Fucking idiot! Be careful!"

"Sorry."

You mumble it into the pillow, back turned carelessly towards me.

I glare.

Stupid dobe.

Who the hell do you think you are?

"I hate you, Sasuke."

I pause.

Somehow, I don't feel angry anymore.

Somehow...

I don't quite remember

how to feel.

-TO BE CONTINUED-


	8. Chapter 8

-Naruto-

_Black._

Everything is so dark.

And you're just standing there, watching me silently.

Your eyes are sad, glittering like broken shards of glass.

The tears are so cold against my skin.

I reach out a hand to you, calling your name.

You say nothing.

And I'm crying, yelling for you, reaching.

You begin to slowly raise your hand, slender fingers lifting gently towards mine.

"Please, Sasuke... Please..."

The darkness expands slowly between us, and you're getting farther and farther away, hand lowering quietly.

"Sasuke!"

You stare blindly for a moment longer, but turn.

I'm screaming out your name.

_It hurts, it hurts, it hurts..._

_Please answer me._

_Please, Sasuke..._

_Please come back._

You begin to walk slowly into the darkness, the pale light of your skin fading into the black.

The tears chill my flesh.

And I'm crying, reaching out and grasping the nothingness.

"Sasuke!"

My eyelids shoot open.

I'm breathing so hard, fingers clutched tight to your shirt.

"Dobe! What the hell are you doing?"

I blink, meeting your irritated gaze slowly.

"I..."

You push my hand off, looking away.

You're blushing.

I glare, turning over with burning cheeks.

"Bastard..."

You narrow your eyes, looking back at me.

"What's with you? First, you kiss me. Now you're screaming my name and grabbing my shirt. Usurakontachi."

I sit up quickly, glaring.

"Teme! I already explained that. It was a god damn distraction! And I woke up like that because it was a nightmare. It's not anything like you're thinking, pervert. Besides, why did you kiss me back?"

You look away, glaring hard at the wall.

"That was a natural reaction. I wasn't thinking."

"No shit, you weren't thinking! You're never thinking are you, Sasuke?"

"Shut the fuck up, Uzumaki."

"Why did you leave!"

You pause, looking back at me.

The words had escaped me without thought.

Those words that had been unspoken between us, obvious and burning and all that had been on my mind since that day so many years ago.

"Why? Why did you have to hurt us all so bad? Were we not good enough for you!"

"No!"

You yell it, eyes angry.

I falter.

"You weren't fucking good enough for me, alright? You just weren't!"

A tear escapes from beneath my lashes.

It feels cold on my skin.

Cold like your voice, cold like your eyes...

Cold like you.

You pause.

"Bastard..."

I lay myself back down on the bed, turning away from you.

My heart aches.

Throbbing, hurting as if you had cut me...

An inch away from breaking.

Why...

Why are you so cruel, Sasuke?

-TO BE CONTINUED-


	9. Chapter 9

-Naruto-

I wake to the sound of my cell phone vibrating on the desk.

Watery sunlight glitters in my eyes and I sit up slowly, wiping the sleep from beneath tangled lashes.

You sleep quietly beside me, and I watch you for only a moment, exhaling slowly.

Your voice echoes dimly in my mind.

I turn away, flicking my phone open and to my ear.

"Naruto?"

The familiarity of the voice soothes me.

"Hey, Sakura."

"Oh, Naruto... I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, Naruto..."

I lean back against the bed post, letting the cotton covers fall easily from my shoulders.

"Sakura, everything is fine. Why do you need to be sorry?"

"Naruto, don't be stupid. You know, I know, who doesn't know? What Tsunade did to you was horrible. I can't even believe..."

"Sakura. It's fine."

"No, it's not!"

There is a brief silence.

I listen quietly as her breathing steadies.

"Sorry..."

"It's fine."

"Naruto, sometimes I wish you wouldn't say that..."

I don't say anything.

My gaze wanders blindly, fingers toying absently with untamed bangs.

"Sometimes I wish you wouldn't try so hard to be strong..."

"I should probably go now, Sakura."

She's quiet for a few moments.

"Okay. Naruto..."

"Hm?"

"I love you. Take care of yourself, okay?"

"I love you too. Bye, Sakura."

I flip the phone closed, laying it gently down on the nightstand again.

I feel bad for cutting the conversation so short.

"Hm. So are you and Sakura going out then?"

Your voice surprises me.

I turn and you're sitting up, watching me quietly.

"Yes, we are."

Your face remains calm.

Indifferent.

"And do you really love her?"

I turn away from you, glaring at the wall.

"What does it matter to you?"

"Nothing. Nothing at all..."

Your voice trails.

And then, suddenly, you're on top of me.

I feel your lips crash firmly into mine, stealing the breath from my throat.

Your hand smoothes slowly down my cheek and I shiver at the light touch, brow furrowing as you deepen the kiss gently.

I can't think.

You're everywhere.

Everything.

I cannot remember which way is up,

which way is down,

which is you and which is me.

You're so warm, so endlessly warm...

It's intoxicating.

And I'm drowning in that warmth,

that taste,

that touch...

Your hands smooth down my chest, slipping under my shirt to trail soft fingertips over exposed skin.

I'm trembling.

And you just keep kissing me, keep touching me, keep drowning me...

I cannot remember

anything

but your face.

And maybe, everything is good.

Everything is alright.

Everything is...

You break the kiss finally.

My breathing is heavy, uneven and strange to my warmed lips.

"S-Sasuke..."

"You use the term 'love' so lightly."

I meet your gaze slowly, confused.

"Wha..."

"You don't love Sakura. You just lied to her, didn't you? You just cheated. Right after you said you loved her too."

And suddenly everything comes crashing back to me.

Your lips brush against my ear as you speak.

Your breath is hot, soft.

"You cheated. You kissed someone else. You kissed another guy, even. And worst of all..."

Your words cut harshly at my heart.

I feel myself quivering.

"You kissed _me_."

The tears stream silently down my flushed cheeks.

You crawl off of me, returning to your side of the bed.

"I'm going back to sleep."

Your voice is emotionless.

And, as you lay in silence, the sobs free themselves from my throat.

And I cry.

Helplessly,

stupidly,

hopelessly.

Until there are no more tears left.

-TO BE CONTINUED-


	10. Chapter 10

-Sasuke-

I do not sleep.

Your trembling sobs shake through me, every whimper echoing distantly in my mind.

With my back turned, I cry silently.

For you.

For me.

For all the things I do.

For the monster I have become.

I listen.

After what feels like a very long time you slowly begin to quiet, heavy breathing steadying, tortured whimpers fading.

Asleep.

I wait.

And finally, when I am certain you are not awake, I sit up.

Your face is pale, flushed with crying.

The tears still glitter dully on those whiskered cheeks.

I lean over you, running my fingers over that warm skin.

You do not stir.

Why did I do this to you?

My thoughts drift slowly.

Because...

Because...

_"So are you and Sakura going out then?"_

The words echo through my mind.

Flickers of hurt.

I can still picture everything so clearly...

The look in your eyes.

The frown on those soft lips...

_"Yes, we are."_

I stare at those lips now.

Parted slightly, full and tempting...

I had touched them not too long ago.

You had tasted good.

Sweet.

I find myself inching closer.

My lips hover hesitantly over yours.

Our breath mingles.

We're so close.

Centimeters away.

I can feel your warmth.

And I move back, letting my head fall softly against your shoulder.

The tears come fast.

And I lay trembling, crying silently into your neck.

It is a long time until I finally move away, settling quietly back beneath the covers.

My heart aches,

and I suddenly feel so cold.

-TO BE CONTINUED-


	11. Chapter 11

-Naruto-

I know that you're awake.

I'm lying flat on my back now, inhaling, exhaling, focusing my mind on the rhythm of my breathing.

The hurt is still so fresh.

Your taste lingers on my lips, traces of warmth, of inexplicable feeling...

You had tasted surprisingly sweet.

What had I been thinking?

How could I have let you do something so crazy?

So cruel?

I trail my hand across my mouth, warm fingertips brushing over the lingering kiss.

It keeps replaying in my mind.

The phone call, Sakura's voice...

And then you.

You, your lips, your skin.

You everywhere.

The depth, the burning, complicated feelings stirring in that kiss, the feel of your hands beneath my shirt...

And the coldness of your voice.

You had been cruel.

So cruel, unimaginably cruel.

_"You cheated. You kissed someone else. You kissed a guy, even."_

My hand falls lightly from my lips to the mattress, chain clattering softly.

My fingers curl slowly into the sheets.

Seeking comfort, something to hold on to...

_"And worst of all..."_

I can't get your voice out of my head.

It had been ice, bitterness...

Smooth as marble.

_"You kissed __**me**__."_

"Fuck."

I sit up quickly then, my heart aching so fiercely I feel that it might burst.

The tears have dried on my skin.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck."

I'm cursing, wiping the traces of weakness from my cheekbones.

I feel your eyes on me now.

There's nothing I want more than to push you away from me, to yell, to show you just how much you hurt me...

But I'm so tired of it.

I'm just

so

tired.

I can feel you sitting up beside me, exhaling softly, running a hand through dark, silken tresses.

I can't even look at you.

I'm aching so fiercely, fully, silently...

And I can find no words to offer you.

"Naruto..."

Your voice is quiet now.

I can't read the emotion in your tone.

It is simply soft, the breath of a sigh.

"Fuck you, Uchiha. Seriously."

"Look, Naruto..."

"I said fuck you, Uchiha. Fuck. You."

I'm done.

I'm done talking to you.

I don't want to hear your voice, I don't want to see your face...

And I definitely don't want to hear what you have to say.

You sigh slowly, massaging your temple with something like wariness.

"I'm taking a shower now, so I'm allowed to unlock this for a little bit. You take one step out of my apartment and I will kill you."

I search for the key Tsunade had given me, fingers rustling through the clutter on my dresser before meeting that cool metal.

I know I'm supposed to unlink us as little as possible...

But I just can't stand being trapped like this any longer.

To escape from you, from your eyes and lips and gaze, for just a few fleeting minutes...

There is nothing I could want more.

-TO BE CONTINUED-


	12. Chapter 12

-Naruto-

The water feels so warm...

Soothing.

I tilt my head back, running my fingers through soapy tresses, exhaling slowly as the steam unfurls overhead.

Drifting like smoke.

No matter how much I scrub, I can't wash away the feel of you.

Even with the water running down my face, I can taste your lips, even with the soap bubbles trickling down my chest, I can feel your hands...

You are everywhere.

But then, perhaps you always have been.

I spend a long time in the shower like that, losing myself in the warmth, but the soap gradually rinses away and my fingers begin to prune slightly...

Finally, I turn the water off.

The brisk air chills me as I step out of the fragile steam, slipping on a pair of fresh boxers and rubbing the towel lightly through dripping tresses.

Even now, I can't stand the thought of facing you.

But I can't hide forever.

Pulling on a loose pair of sweats, towel draped lazily over my shoulders, I push the door quietly open.

You're sitting on my bed.

The silken black of your hair is mussed slightly with sleep, with the tossing and turning I'm sure we'd both partook in, and you're still just as beautiful and terrible as you've always been, and that obsidian gaze lifts slowly to meet mine.

I look away.

"Naruto."

Nothing.

I say nothing.

Ignoring the twinge in my heart that voice always brings, ignoring that incredible desire to go to your side and look you in the eyes and ask a thousand useless questions.

Ignoring you.

I go to my dresser then, shuffling through the top drawer for a shirt.

I feel your eyes on my back.

And I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I swear I don't care, and I hate you and all I want to do is...

Warmth.

Your arms wrap slowly around my waist, carefully, hugging me gently from behind.

I'm suddenly so aware of my bare skin, of the soft warmth of your touch, of the flecks of water still caught in my hair.

I feel your face against my neck.

You're not kissing me, not nuzzling me with any sense of sexuality...

Simply holding me.

And I'm aching so fiercely, so surprised and so uncertain...

I can find no words.

"Break up with her, Naruto."

Your voice is so soft.

A breath against my throat.

My hand goes slowly to the ones locked around my waist, my eyes falling downcast.

What are you doing, Sasuke?

What in the world are you doing?

"Sasuke... What the hell..."

"Please, Naruto. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done what I did and I regret it."

The apology surprises me.

You bastard, you awful, cruel, beautiful bastard...

Why the hell are you being this way?

"Sasuke, what are you-"

"I don't like it."

Your voice is so quiet.

I've never heard you talk this way.

So softly, so sadly...

Like a hurting child.

"... You don't like what, Sasuke?"

I say it softer now, resigned.

"I don't like to think of you with her. With anyone."

I sigh, attempting to loosen your arms from my waist.

You still hold tight.

"Sasuke, you're not making any sense. Why the hell does it matter to you anyways?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Then why-"

"I don't know, Naruto."

I'm feeling so much at once.

Confusion, uncertainty, pain and years of built-up hurt...

Yearning, too, for what I'm not sure, and warmth, and something heart-breakingly like

love.

But love in itself is an uncertain thing.

"Sasuke..."

Why won't you let me go?


	13. Chapter 13

-Sasuke-

We had stayed like that for a long while.

My arms locked around your waist, the tiny beads of water dripping from your hair to trickle slowly down the side of my cheek...

Shadows of tears.

There had been silence.

You did not speak for a long time, but you did not push me away either...

You did not raise your voice or curse or glare.

You simply seemed... Tired.

Torn.

And you let me hold you.

You let me cling to you, let me feel the smoothness of your bare back against my chest, let me feel the softness of your throat against the side of my face...

You had felt so warm.

It was the same warmth I had felt so near me on the mattress, the same warmth I had felt briefly in those scattered moments that our skin had brushed so fleetingly.

God, it felt so good...

And it drove me absolutely crazy.

Every second that passed that you remained in my arms, my heart began to ache more and more...

Aching until it felt like I could stand it no longer.

Why do I feel this way?

Why does my pulse race this way, why does the guilt and the confusion and pain and yearning and utter want flood over me like this when I'm with you now?

As I held you, I had been dizzy with those whirling, conflicting emotions.

I had been hurting, hurting because of who I am and who you are and what we have become...

I had felt so much want, so much longing for what I was not sure, for what I could not begin to understand...

There had been envy too.

Inexplicable jealousy that burned me, hurt me, images of you and Sakura and all of you that she had, all of you that felt so out of reach...

And confusion.

Utter, complete confusion.

All of this regret, all of this pain and uncertainty and this strange, thoughtless passion...

I did not understand.

I still don't understand.

Why?

Why do I care so much?

Why does this hurt so much?

Why do feel so undeniably wrapped up in you?

There were so many questions, so many words unspoken...

Why had I hugged you like that? Why had I said what I had said?

You're just another person, Naruto.

Just an old friend, maybe even a best friend.

A boy.

There was nothing more to it, right, Naruto...?

Nothing more... Nothing more that could possibly make sense...

Nothing more that I can bring myself to think about.

After the moments had stretched between us, after I felt like my heart could bear it no longer, I finally let you go.

Empty words, thoughtless words, and I had closed the door to the bathroom behind me.

The water feels good now.

Warm, yet not nearly as warm as you had felt...

I still don't understand why I had said it.

Why I had kissed you before too, why I had been so cruel and then so... Strange.

Why?

Why had I felt so jealous that it drove me absolutely mad?

Why had it hurt me so much when you had gotten that one meaningless phone call, when you had spoken those 5 useless words?

_I love you too, Sakura._

Even now, I can't stand to think about it.

It scares me, Naruto.

Because no matter how much I try to deny it,

no matter how utterly illogical and crazy and totally

stupid

that it is...

I'm afraid that there is absolutely no one in this world that I could love

like I love you.


End file.
